my exciting life

... can't even remember when i put on a post last - and with no access to net at all for weeks, can't say that i missed it much - too much was happening to write about it - kol trip was such a blur, so much that happened - work, no work,family, raichowk, friends visit, pujo, pandal hopping, floods, epidemics, and by the time i was leaving for delhi, delhi had blasts - a lot of schedules upset, god work, bad work, running short of time, running late, running.... blurred images, colours and total fatigue, and some pics waiting to be uploaded - thats all i am left with...
oh and a new laptop, shall post more later - from what it looks like, delhi is going to be faster and totally too much!!

need more peace to think out blobby thoughts seeming to have potential for a good line here and a profound paragraph there - give me time and you'll have some.

and i continue to love william, waiting patiently...

back to civilisation

have to visit far flung villages now, no mobile network, bad food and smelly water, one ngo campus, snakes and moquitoes, (yeah had a yellow snake crossing my path with a fish in its mouth, but also a million stars and hundresds of fireflies like a crazy beautiful disco - land so flat that it stretched into green fields till earth curved away, silly geese... its a weird disconnected feeling - being in these villages, its so alien a lifestyle yet its right outside out big urban bubbles... anyhow, feels nice to be back! keys to punch into and hustle bustle, taxis and metro, nobody gawking at your non rural wear, i belong...

and sometimes i don't.. when nobody is polite and you are in ajam for hours, when taxis rush stranded guys by, there is something about urban anonymity thats just unhealthy, not to mention pollution, crowds and distances...

but am looking forward to everything- and PUJO!! the celebrations start soonm and have managed to make a quick fried to help with pandal hopping...

have photos, but not easy to load with unequipped cheap cyber cafes...

p.s. william is such a swwetheart!!

nosedrip and nostalgia

am sick! and not only as a person in soul but body as well - terrible backache, sty in my eye, sudden numerous mouth ulcers, cold cough, viral fever, and finally just plain tired! and so have been away and not writing...

but am in Oh! Calcutta!! - the city where everything looks fifty years old (am suddenly aging myself) - (is it the light quality tinting everything sepia?is it the corrosive air? is it really that old?) - but the shop signs fopts and the saree print of the aunty in the wooden ramshackle bus?? its justa sprawling village with this strip of the colonial time buildings and all of it is so old... except for the suddenly swanky malls and hutch and airtel signs- no wonder its conducive to period films, no wonder someone said of it - "the city where you feel nostalgic even when you visit for the firat time"

have a lot of pictures to post - dont have hello to post it - AND AM GETTING A NEW LAPTOP

and again

5 months, 2 jobs, 3 residences and all my posts - and i have packed my bags and moved all the way across to Kolkata now - new number, new address, new project, new organisation - and same old me.

It was shocking!! i mean it has been planeed for a month now - but been working 15 hours a day to finish the earlier project and this suddenly felt like waking up from a dream all exhausted in an unfamiliar yet regular world.

And the first time that I have left a city carrying no lingering images of the city no bonds with it and all of them centered around a single family and another room - and maybe a tree...

anyway here's to new beginnings and infrequent internet access...

like memories swept past

about last trip to bangalore too - Daddy's Deli opposite Bethany's is no longer there - simply not there - ironic? appropriate? - i dont know, tears leave no traces. blech what mush i write... but if the players not there what would be the stage be for any more... i want to shift to bangalore, i dont want to go there ever again... and i mean both

and back again

from delhi this time where lived next to CP on the 19th floor and saw delhi unfold every morning life a 3d map - wonderful - and with soon to be closed (CP branch) Nirula's Viennese Coffee IceCream which I do believe has to be one of the better ice creams in the world... (like i would know)... back and bored but next month is another city and another life to live for two months, am looking forward to it now....

currently reading "A Good Man is Hard To Find" horribly depressing but good. listening to Dave Matthews Band crooning "american Baby" and Green Day "wake me up when September ends"... nice.

oh and the sudden identity change etc because my boss stumbled on to the blog, and that was not nice...

not a loser

blooms in buttonholes
feathers in inkpots
misplaced wilderness
trapped beauty
i, however, stand inconspicuous
in my ugly shoes at home..