Thursday, March 16
from nilgiri to dhammagiri
yeah, thats a long ride... with a weekend in bangalore and a night home in between... why was i there - exhausted by the loss of a grandparent, the loss of a friend who didnt turn into more, the lesser losses of planned projects and planned months. .. out of curiousity, because it was possible now and i needed something to teach me balance and stability - and maybe not to just keep rushing about looking for some validation of life itself. If i was expecting answers, there were none to be had, any emotional cleansing, any divine intervention, any miracle cure - none at all. just painfully unexciting meditation 10 hours a day on my own boring body reactions to seemingly nothing - there was boredom, there was pain but in the end, you do sense the change - the challenge is to sustain it - i may not be able to, but i at least know of that space within me where nothing needs to happen and its allright all the time.
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5 comments:
Hi,
Nice pictures.
Sorry to hear about your grandparent, hope you are feeling better now.
As for the blog-writing, trust me- I tried!! But writing a blog and actually making it seem interesting is beyond me:) I started writing once, on a couple of issues that I felt strongly about...but it ended up sounding positively archaic!!
besides, you're pretty anonymous too - i don't really know anything about you.
So let me know if you want to answer questions on email and I'll give you my address....but blogging is beyond me!I promise not to ask you personal questions like your name, address and phone number - so you can rest assured I won't stalk you :)
(too many exclamations!)
meanwhile, keep blogging. i really like the pictures you put up.
hmmm, well mailing isnt what i meant... i dont really want to answer questions, i mean i dont want to this mysterious elusive person but this blog can only be reallly honest if i know i dont have to care who reads it.. am not such a honest person in real life, and am really really shy!!!
and blogging grows on you - my initial blogs make me want to delete them, but i think you surrender to it at some point and then it feels all right ( probably reads just as crappy)...
i mean i dont want to BE this mysterious elusive person
hmmmmm
actually no poinyt mailing either if you wont want to actually talk about yourself...
Hi,
That's ok. I can understand. So I guess we're back to square one with you blogging and me reading. I'll try to avoid asking too many questions, and you can ignore the ones you don't want to answer.
Personally, I find it easier to answer questions when I know the other person doesn't know me and can't judge me :) (Another excuse for me not to create an identity for blogging!)
but the problem is the moment you start answering questions, the person starts knowing you :)...!!
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