ok, ok

i was being a tired grumpy spoilt kid there

but its okay - once in a while one can sulk and crib

scrabble anyone?

new city, new job, new lifestyle - paying rent, thinking long term, trying cooking - so many firsts and totally dont know anyone

you know, how they say -travel expands the mind - but what it actually does is show you just how things are different all over and pretty much the same. some in details and some in essence. it stretches your extremes and moves your zero ground. and if it is habitual, you fit everywhere and belong nowhere - (i dont know what the middle path is - having both your feet in different extremes?! )

so am searching for the middle of bangalore, the fringe where i stay is exhorbitant -from rent to food to gyms to even options of clothes - only brands and malls - which make you feel so somehow included because its so familiar - but then that whole other side of bangalore - the non foreigner side (foreigner = north migrant) (koramangala, jayanagar, indiranagar type IT professional dense suburbs are all foreigner infested) -i just dont know that other side - where normal people stay - where smalllocal businesses thrive - where bangalore comes into its own and doesnt look like just another metro but displays some character... other than trying to make the foreigners feel at home - and unfortuantely at a price i cant afford - where are the NON IT, non corporate world of people that dont earn too much but not too little - not the lower middle but not the upper upper middle either - not a seedy 800 a month gym but not a swanky 2500 one either

Where is the middle path? Where are the people who when asked 'so what else do you do?' - dont say partying and pub hopping? dont say watching tv either? am i being too judgemental?
are there scrabble players in bangalore? people who read? people who have good conversation in them? who like walking? dont need a/c all the time? or am i too old to hang around people like that? i guess am just so used to surrounded by "people like me" i dont know what to do without them,
d-uh bad social skills..... oh oh this is becoming whiny!

and this start from scratch phenomenon sucks - altho in this one month (to date) -

• found a place to stay and set it up,
  
• marched on womens day,
  
• met at least four new people and plans to meet another three this week,
  
• joined a kick boxing one day, dance aerobics the next etc type gym,
  
• joined the library,
  
• set up kitchen, started cooking (yesterday dinner - my first pressure cooked aloo bhaji)... :)

and so this is what happens when nomads settle,
there was this study we'd done of this nomadic tribe of bengal who make dokra stuff near bankura who had been 'settled' - given land and huts and stuff - what they hadn't been given is skills of a settled life - so sanitation and hygiene were poor, and the idea of having a house and boundaries and property were all new, and they were a little lost.

and here i am

.. wont you send me an angel.

point in life where things seem over - there is a 'the end' that was stuck in the next scene when everything was going to be allright and who gave a damn about the details and the ugly truth is that things suck - i am here, empty and alone with no clue what to start with and where to go

And that is the best part - one can go anywhere from ground zero... you cant fall off the floor and it possibly cant get worse - am alone in a city - have no friends here so to speak - work is tepid - no office colleagues worth knowing and job that is not all i wanted it to be - have broken up with the reason of shifting to bangalore and am staying on my own - for the first time - with heartbreak and poor cooking skills! - hopefully it cant be worse - hopefully i will survive this and that would be one less to fear in life and that it would be the best thing that happened to me.

everything is wonderful - i just cant see it now

yay! for lime and silver new shoes!

brand new me, brand new day, brand new life

100 posts over, new year now, new city, no more hopping around the world and finally job, and unpacked life

okay but feels dismal for now, will be better i know one day

so bangalore, here i am!